Showing posts with label DEXNote. Show all posts
Showing posts with label DEXNote. Show all posts
2011 is here (you're 11 days late Dex!) and before I lay down my plans for it, I think it is but imperative to recap 2010 (because whoever said don't ever look back is missing a lot, lol) and assess my accomplishments and failures the previous year, and check where am I now with my life-goals.
The first half of 2010 was not so exciting (personally, but politically it was because we just had the first automated election and a new leader after more or less a decade) Reading my mid-year post saddens me; I still remember how I was so frustrated and disappointed with myself mostly for the things that's not happening. It felt like I am just existing and not living (whoah! sometimes I get emotional you know, lol) But the second half was a blast! So, I can say that generally 2010 was better than 2009. No, better is an understatement. It actually kicked 2009's ass! How about that?
For the record, 2010 was my most spendful (if there's such a word) year. Blame HSBC for granting my request for a highfalutin credit limit when they offered me a second card without the hassle of submitting any documents and cajoled it more by increasing it after six months. Lol. Of course, I'm the one to blame for my financial immaturity - for abusing the reward yourself once in a while to relieve stress advice and for pretending to not know the difference of wants and needs. But hey, I didn't regret acquiring the things I bought, the travels, the pampering time, the debts loaned (ok, I regret some) and whatnots. What I regret was not questioning the rationale for a major purchase and not having much self-control .
The first half of 2010 was not so exciting (personally, but politically it was because we just had the first automated election and a new leader after more or less a decade) Reading my mid-year post saddens me; I still remember how I was so frustrated and disappointed with myself mostly for the things that's not happening. It felt like I am just existing and not living (whoah! sometimes I get emotional you know, lol) But the second half was a blast! So, I can say that generally 2010 was better than 2009. No, better is an understatement. It actually kicked 2009's ass! How about that?
Dear Prudence
For the record, 2010 was my most spendful (if there's such a word) year. Blame HSBC for granting my request for a highfalutin credit limit when they offered me a second card without the hassle of submitting any documents and cajoled it more by increasing it after six months. Lol. Of course, I'm the one to blame for my financial immaturity - for abusing the reward yourself once in a while to relieve stress advice and for pretending to not know the difference of wants and needs. But hey, I didn't regret acquiring the things I bought, the travels, the pampering time, the debts loaned (ok, I regret some) and whatnots. What I regret was not questioning the rationale for a major purchase and not having much self-control .
Nung bata ako, pag tinatanong ako kung ano gusto ko maging, lagi ko sinasabi ay doktor. At pag tinanong kung bakit, sagot ko ay para makatulong sa may sakit. Yun kasi popular noon. Minsan sinasabi ko na piloto para maiba lang. Pero sa totoo lang, hindi ko nakita ang aking sarili na may stethoscope sa leeg o may eroplano sa kamay. May pagka-clumsy, pasmado, at malabo ang mata ko kaya noon pa lang alam ko na na hindi para sa akin ang pagiging doktor o piloto. Kasama na din dito ang takot ko sa responsibilidad na buhay ang at stake sa trabaho.
Nung elementary, sabi ko na Commerce ang kukunin ko sa kolehiyo at pagkatapos ay sa bangko ako papasok bilang teller, feeling ko kasi nun marami pera sa ganitong trabaho. Ito yung panahon na sikat pa ang kurso na yon at eto rin yung panahon na narealize ko na you get paid by working. Unang pagkakataon na nasilaw ako ng pera.
Sa high school naman, may nagsabi na dapat alam mo ang kakayahan at gusto mo at yun ang gamitin sa pagpili ng kurso. Mahirap daw kasi na hindi ka interesado sa field na tatahakin mo. At dahil magaling ako sa Math, sabi ko Engineering ang kukunin ko, madami daw kasi Math subjects sa course na to. Haha, ang babaw lang. Pero totoo, sa katunayan, ang nakalagay sa yearbook ko na ambition ay to be considered as one of the greatest name in the field of engineering. Noon pa lang mahilig na rin ako sa mabulaklak na salita na madalas ay walang sense.
Sa UPCAT, ang first choice ko na course is Computer Engineering. Eto yung breakdown:
1st Choice: UP Diliman
- 1st choice of degree: BS, Computer Engineering
- 2nd choice of degree: BS, Business Administration and Accountancy
2nd Choice: UPLB
- 1st choice of degree: BS, Chemical Engineering
- 2nd choice of degree: BS, Mathematics
Nung dumating yung resulta, ang sabi sa letter: We regret to inform you blah, blah, blah.. So, in short hindi ako natanggap. Kainis, sayang yung pagpasok ng sabado para sa review. Pero sabi ng pinsan ko na pumapasok sa elbi, abot pa naman daw sa cut-off yung WGA ko kaya pwede ipa-waitlist. Huwag daw quota course piliin ko kaya sabi ko sa BS Mathematics na lang, mag-shift na lang ako pag andun na.
So, it’s been six months. I still can remember the plans I made for every aspect of my life the first day of 2010. From career to relationships, self-development and spirituality — I had it all set.
It’s funny coz it’s just now that I realized that all this time, until now, all I have is a plan. It’s not funny coz I’ve been doing it in circles. I’m always waiting for the perfect timing, controlling my actions — afraid of making mistakes. And when something goes wrong, I give in and mess it all up thinking I can start again some other time — back to square one. As a result, nothing is happening. I’m just going with and through the flow without growing. How’s that?
I’ve been so wrapped up in thinking, striving and making sure I’m ok that I haven’t really stopped to just be. So, I’m stopping. I’m admitting I’m not ok. I don’t have it together. I’m lonely. I’m a bloody big mess inside.
But still, I am grateful despite and in spite of. My heart is overwhelmed with thankfulness that God is here, I am blessed, I am loved… And I’m gonna use this as an inspiration to keep the faith, be mature enough, and live with a positive disposition.
I’m still pursuing my plan but with much flexibility. It’ll be more adaptive to life’s spontaneity. Who knows I might succeed this time. After all, I still have the rest of 2010 and my life to make things right — if not, learn from the experience. I believe God has a greater plan for me. I know right?
As the lyrics of Scouting For Girls' This Ain't A Love Song goes: I may be down, scared and a little bit frightened, I’ll be coming back fighting to life.
why all of a sudden everyone started to care (read: why all of a sudden Earth Day became pop)
it’s Earth Day today!
 |
| earth hour |
the world has been celebrating Earth Day for like forever now but it’s just these past years that we actually noticed and participated. the drought, landslides, and flood we experienced must’ve contributed a lot in our awareness of the effects of climate change. or maybe it’s the medium being used to promote that made people participate.
well, i have nothing against Earth Day being popular. and i have nothing against using pop culture to communicate and reach out. it’s actually a bright idea to immerse such cause to people’s preoccupied world to get their attention. most of the time, it works! and it’s a good thing because we are now starting to care. i’m just worried that some are participating for the wrong reasons, for selfish reasons. like how ‘cool’ it is to be part of such significant act. darvit! those people who use this event to be ‘in’, to be ‘pop’.
anyway, i hope our concern to mother Earth is genuine and that we’re actually doing something to save her. i hope that this will not stop in just wearing green or blue or by watching an environment-related documentary. while these activities are good to promote and inform, what matters is the act that we do to contribute in actually saving our environment. and it’s not just for a day, it’s incorporating these acts in our lifestyle.
It started fresh because of the new job with the new company. I’ve been idle for the first three months but been overwhelmed with bugs and tickets when our project was implemented last July. Thanks to my team for the support and for filling the part where I couldn’t perform. There have been days I drag myself to work but that force is not enough to break my thrust. I’m still enjoying my job and still happy with my IT family.
 |
| Java training classmates at Active Learning with Sir Gavin |
 |
| after 15-20 minutes trekking, we reached Mt. Pinatubo crater |
 |
| and it's beautiful! |
 |
| after the volcanic spa |
 |
| eye-level view of Taal at Balai isabel |
 |
| IT family at Balai Isabel |
 |
| let's plant trees |
 |
| tree planting at Marikina watershed |
Before the year ends, Tito Bokyo died. He has been suffering from his illness since September. I remember how he was rushed to the hospital because he can’t control his shaking and he’s having a hard time breathing. It’s hard to see him like that. Our only consolation was he died peacefully. It’s a very sad Christmas for us - we’ll never be complete. Ever. But that’s life, we just need to have peace with it and move on. I just pray for the soul of Tito Bokyo and for the welfare of his family, our family.
2009 has been good/bad for me, for us. Good memories will be cherished and lessons learned from the bad ones will never be forgotten.
