DEXnote : 2010 & 1/2 : What now and then some
So, it’s been six months. I still can remember the plans I made for every aspect of my life the first day of 2010. From career to relationships, self-development and spirituality — I had it all set.
It’s funny coz it’s just now that I realized that all this time, until now, all I have is a plan. It’s not funny coz I’ve been doing it in circles. I’m always waiting for the perfect timing, controlling my actions — afraid of making mistakes. And when something goes wrong, I give in and mess it all up thinking I can start again some other time — back to square one. As a result, nothing is happening. I’m just going with and through the flow without growing. How’s that?
I’ve been so wrapped up in thinking, striving and making sure I’m ok that I haven’t really stopped to just be. So, I’m stopping. I’m admitting I’m not ok. I don’t have it together. I’m lonelyI’m a bloody big mess inside.
But still, I am grateful despite and in spite of. My heart is overwhelmed with thankfulness that God is here, I am blessed, I am loved… And I’m gonna use this as an inspiration to keep the faith, be mature enough, and live with a positive disposition.
I’m still pursuing my plan but with much flexibility. It’ll be more adaptive to life’s spontaneity. Who knows I might succeed this time. After all, I still have the rest of 2010 and my life to make things right — if not, learn from the experience. I believe God has a greater plan for me. I know right?
As the lyrics of Scouting For Girls' This Ain't A Love Song goes: I may be down, scared and a little bit frightened, I’ll be coming back fighting to life.
  • DEXpicable Me

    DEXpicable Me
    i always wanted to write. i want to voice out my opinion on issues that interest me. i wanna chit-chat about tv series i'm hooked and music in my playlist. i want to talk about math and politics; culture and literature. i want to share my story and be relevant. and with this labyrinth as a medium, i'm making myself vulnerable by letting you in to my life. it's up to you to depict it. you may see it differently. you may be lost. but in this maze, there is only one way out and i hope you find it.