Nung bata ako, pag tinatanong ako kung ano gusto ko maging, lagi ko sinasabi ay doktor. At pag tinanong kung bakit, sagot ko ay para makatulong sa may sakit. Yun kasi popular noon. Minsan sinasabi ko na piloto para maiba lang. Pero sa totoo lang, hindi ko nakita ang aking sarili na may stethoscope sa leeg o may eroplano sa kamay. May pagka-clumsy, pasmado, at malabo ang mata ko kaya noon pa lang alam ko na na hindi para sa akin ang pagiging doktor o piloto. Kasama na din dito ang takot ko sa responsibilidad na buhay ang at stake sa trabaho.

Nung elementary, sabi ko na Commerce ang kukunin ko sa kolehiyo at pagkatapos ay sa bangko ako papasok bilang teller, feeling ko kasi nun marami pera sa ganitong trabaho. Ito yung panahon na sikat pa ang kurso na yon at eto rin yung panahon na narealize ko na you get paid by working. Unang pagkakataon na nasilaw ako ng pera.

Sa high school naman, may nagsabi na dapat alam mo ang kakayahan at gusto mo at yun ang gamitin sa pagpili ng kurso. Mahirap daw kasi na hindi ka interesado sa field na tatahakin mo. At dahil magaling ako sa Math, sabi ko Engineering ang kukunin ko, madami daw kasi Math subjects sa course na to. Haha, ang babaw lang. Pero totoo, sa katunayan, ang nakalagay sa yearbook ko na ambition ay to be considered as one of the greatest name in the field of engineering. Noon pa lang mahilig na rin ako sa mabulaklak na salita na madalas ay walang sense.

Sa UPCAT, ang first choice ko na course is Computer Engineering. Eto yung breakdown:

1st Choice: UP Diliman

2nd Choice: UPLB

Nung dumating yung resulta, ang sabi sa letter: We regret to inform you blah, blah, blah.. So, in short hindi ako natanggap. Kainis, sayang yung pagpasok ng sabado para sa review. Pero sabi ng pinsan ko na pumapasok sa elbi, abot pa naman daw sa cut-off yung WGA ko kaya pwede ipa-waitlist. Huwag daw quota course piliin ko kaya sabi ko sa BS Mathematics na lang, mag-shift na lang ako pag andun na.  

So, it’s been six months. I still can remember the plans I made for every aspect of my life the first day of 2010. From career to relationships, self-development and spirituality — I had it all set.

It’s funny coz it’s just now that I realized that all this time, until now, all I have is a plan. It’s not funny coz I’ve been doing it in circles. I’m always waiting for the perfect timing, controlling my actions — afraid of making mistakes. And when something goes wrong, I give in and mess it all up thinking I can start again some other time — back to square one. As a result, nothing is happening. I’m just going with and through the flow without growing. How’s that?

But still, I am grateful despite and in spite of. My heart is overwhelmed with thankfulness that God is here, I am blessed, I am loved… And I’m gonna use this as an inspiration to keep the faith, be mature enough, and live with a positive disposition.

I’m still pursuing my plan but with much flexibility. It’ll be more adaptive to life’s spontaneity. Who knows I might succeed this time. After all, I still have the rest of 2010 and my life to make things right — if not, learn from the experience. I believe God has a greater plan for me. I know right?

As the lyrics of Scouting For Girls' This Ain't A Love Song goes: I may be down, scared and a little bit frightened, I’ll be coming back fighting to life.

I remember one of my previous colleague described me as a conformist. He actually considered it as one of my good trait but I didn’t take that as a compliment. For me, a conformist is boring, a commoner, and without convictions — and I’m not boring, my ways is like no other and  I’m in denial of course. Lol. 

Come to think of it, I really obey rules and most of the time I conform to society’s norm. My taste in music may not be popular and my political views may be different but still, I listen to music and some principle guide me just like most of us. The context is still the same, we just have differences.

I don’t see anything wrong with obeying rules. Rules are put there so we’ll have some kind of order. Yeah, it’s liberating to once in a while  break rules but eventually, we’ll still go back following it. Of course, we should also evaluate if the set rules are fair and functional and think of ways on how to improve it. It’s not a rule to follow conventions, we are somehow free to create our own brand of life.

As a song goes — Take a risk. Take a chance. Make a change. Breakaway.

Darvit! It’s a very painful experience. I don’t know what triggered it, prolly the heat. I looked for an antibiotic to relieve the pain but to no avail, I just decided to put an icebag in my lower ab; my Lola taught me this before along with putting salt in my navel. That I didn’t buy. Lol.

I stayed in the bathroom for more than 40 minutes. I took a bath again but it’s still painful. I thought of masturbating to divert my attention but on second thought, it won’t do much. I texted Mom, she replied drink a lot of water and try to ignore. But it’s so painful to ignore. Eventually, the pain subside.

I know this is nothing compared to what others might be feeling and I may be exaggerating but I tell you — that experience ruined my afternoon.

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Bowling has always been our team’s sport. Some of us are competitive and some are just having fun (just like me) trying to hit the pins — with any possible posture you can imagine. Lol.

But whether you’re consistent with your strikes or still hitting the canal once in a while, what matters is you improve through time, develop your own style and learn something from your colleagues and your own experience.

Well, you can actually forget about being competitive and just have fun, but it’s better if you acquire both. After all, what’s really important is the bonding time, the laughs, more laughs and the experience. And oh, the bacon and egg too. :)

I’m so looking forward to having an average score of 160 per game and I’m still wishing for a turkey! Dream on Dex.

Random Fact : I took bowling as one of my P.E. in college but I didn’t appreciate it back then. I only remember 2 things on that subject: 1. Make sure your shoes is not wet when you go to the ramp because the instructor will scold you to death. 2. I was privilege to have the student regent then as a partner but not quite happy because she’s frequently absent.

It became quite crowded in the afternoon but we still had our privacy and managed to do the activities we prepared without being interrupted. There are no island-specific activities here just like in other commercialized island in the country; there are resorts nearby that offer jetski but that’s it. You just have to be creative on how you will spend your time here.

Well, aside from the inadequate and untidy comfort rooms in the island, we didn’t have any bv experience here. :)

All things considered, we had fun. We enjoyed the view, the place, the company, and the experience.

earth hour

it’s Earth Day today!